The Blame Game

“Whenever something negative happens to you, there is a deep lesson concealed within it.” ~Eckhart Tolle

The most common conversation I have with other people includes the blame game.

The one where your job, your wife, your dog, your mother-in-law, your neighbor six doors down, the media, the government, the receptionist at your doctor’s office, or the dress maker who measured you wrong is somehow responsible for the problems you’re having.

I too played the blame game.

Just this morning I blamed my husband for something I could’ve prevented.

I sat down, took a long deep breath, and thought about the ways I’d contributed to my own unhappiness. Once I came up with one way, countless others seemed to follow.

In that moment, I realized I was blatantly ignoring vital life lessons.

I believe we are here to learn lessons. Once we learn a lesson we move on to the next lesson. However, if we fail to learn a lesson, we keep finding opportunities to learn it again and again.

Isn’t it weird that the woman who can’t leave her old unhappy relationship without starting a new one is always in an unhappy relationship? Or the man who quits his job because he can’t stand his overbearing and ungrateful boss lands a new job with a boss who seems even more overbearing and ungrateful?

Life will continue to throw us the same lessons until we learn from them. Here are some ways to start learning that lesson you may be resisting:

1. Believe there is a lesson to be learned and consent to learn it.

This is probably one of the most important steps. Unless you’re really willing to learn the lesson, even if it feels uncomfortable at times, you can never move forward. Consent to view the situation as something that can help you grow.

2. Admit that you might have helped create the problem.

Warning: This does require you to immediately quit playing the blame game! Just consider the possibility that you somehow contributed to your current situation. This doesn’t mean no one else played a part; it just means perhaps you did, as well.

4. Let go of your attachment to the problem.

Trying to control the problem—your boss, your spouse, or your circumstances—will only keep you more attached to it and. The more you “leech” onto a problem, the more it “leeches” right back on you.

You will never be able to see the lesson or the solution if you dwell on all the little details about what seems wrong. Letting go could come in many forms: seeing the good in the person who seems difficult, accepting a situation for what it is, or seeing the other side of the story.

Any time we let go of our attachment to what went wrong or what should have happened we create the possibility of growth—and we pave the path for more positive results.

Thank you Rachel Woods

In His Love

Leslene